Blog #13 : Best Time, Right ?

A lot of adults say that this is the best time of your life, and I would have to agree. I think that my freshman year has been amazing and I can’t imagine how the next three years could be any better. Even though I’ve had some rough times, I still don’t regret any of it, because it’s made a stronger person, and I’ve matured a lot since those stupid junior high days. I remember at the beginning of the year being terrified that I would come into high school and not have any friends. But after day one, I knew I was wrong. I had great classes and a lot of my friends were in my classes. Because of band camp, I knew a lot of people. I hung out with my friends every weekend, and I was never home. Homecoming came around, and I ended up going with my best friend, Rian Wilson. We went to Chuckie Cheese with a ton of our friends and then Zach Williams afterwards. It was a lot of fun.
Band was my favorite activity of all time. We had competitions every weekend and we always had practices. At the end of the season, we had ISU Band day, which was the state competition. We were out at the school at 4 am and I didn’t get home till around 11 pm. We performed at 6:30 am and then took the bus back to Oly at noon. After that, we got a group together and watched my brothers football game and went back to ISU to watch the rest of the bands. On the way back to ISU Sarah, Joey, and I rode with Zach and the top was down. There was a sword in the backseat of Zach’s car and Joey put it straight up in the air as I threw my hands back and I smacked my hand on it! After the competition, Bryan, Rian, Zach and I went to Zach’s house and attempted to watch Star Wars.
Then there was Speech and I met so many more people.
To end the year, we have the play. Hopefully, it’ll end up being just as fun. :]

Blog #12 : To Be Alone

I am the kind of person that needs alone time. I can’t be around people all day and not have any time to my self. When I want to be alone, I go to my room and turn up the music. Usually, I’m listening to a sad, slow song, typically by Breaking Benjamin, Death Cab for Cutie, or Summer Obsession. In my room, I feel like no one can bother me. I’m shut away from the world. I don’t have to put up with unwanted noise or people, or do stupid chores, or help with dinner.

When I’m in my room, I typically close the door and most of the time the TV is on and turned down low so it doesn’t interfere with the sound ringing through the speakers. My iPod sits on the dock supplying the words I need to hear to make the day just a little bit better. The lights are usually turned off and the blinds are down. I put on some comfy clothes and curl up in my bed. The pillows and blankets trick me into thinking that the rest of the world has disappeared and that everything that’s been bothering me is gone and I don’t have to deal with it anymore.

My alone time is what keeps me sane. I wouldn’t be able to live without having those few moments when everything disappears. I seriously think without having an hour or so that I just sit in my room and think and write, I would die. I would fall off the face of the Earth into the great unknown.


♪♪♪ the music plays on and takes her to where she belongs …♥

Blog #11 : Lyrical Lines

I'm trapped in a world that I can't take
Where everything's unrealistic and fake
I'm hiding out and planning my escape
I hope I'm not the only one

Please come and rescue me tonight
I just wish that I could disappear
Someone take me far away from here
Do you suppose there's more to life out there?

There's no happiness surrounding me
Hate and ugliness is all I see
I wanna leave it all behind
I'm running out of time
Please come and rescue me tonight

I just wish that I could disappear
Someone take me far away from here
Do you suppose there's more to life out there?

And I don't wanna be blind
I wanna open my mind
I wanna know if there's a purpose to this life
Will I ever find it? I'm running out of time...

Trapped in a world that I can't take
I'm hiding out and planning my escape
Please come and rescue me tonight

I just wish that I could disappear
Someone take me far away from here
Do you suppose there's more to life out there?
I just wish that I could disappear...
-disapear ; the summer obsession :) [my obsession]

Right now, this is my favorite song, because of the lyrics. I relate to them so much. It's like someone took what I was thinking and wrote it all down. It's like someone was in my brain and realize, "Hey this girl is messed up. It'd make a good song". Sometimes in life I just feel like everything is so meaningless and useless. It's all depressing and horrifying. Especially this past three weeks. Never knowing what was going to happen, and if I was strong enough to it make no matter what the decision was. Sometimes I think I wasnt strong enough, and other times I think it took more strength to just walk away, and say "I've had enough of you and the stupid crap you put me through." It's insane that I'm still thinking about it. You would think that I would just be like "This is stupid" and stop thinking about him. But nope. That's not possible for me. Never. I've always struggled to forget things. I always bring them back.
This song isn't very popular. It's just a song I found online while looking up the Summer Obsession...But it not being popular, and never having been, makes me like it that much more. I love finding new bands.
The words in this song make me think that someone out there does understand...and that no matter what I'm going through I'm not alone. People make it through this situation and others so much worse than this all the time. And if I hold on to God, I dont need to hold onto anyone else. :]

xoxo ♥

Blog #10 : Keeping Secrets

I used to have a hard time keeping secrets to myself. I would hear something and promise that I wouldn’t tell and then as soon as I saw my best friend I would tell her. Recently, I’ve kept secrets, and I haven’t told anyone. Like last week, when one of my friends and I went for a drive and he told me some stuff that no one else knows. I’m the only one. Well, me and the people that were actually involved in it. I was really glad that he trusted me with it, and he told me that I was the only person that knows. By keeping this secret, I feel like I’m trustworthy.
But when a friend comes to me about something and asks me to not say anything, that’s what they expect. But sometimes, secrets need to be told. Sometimes the person is in danger or trouble. Usually, I keep secrets. But if something needs to be done and an adult needs to know, then I think it is right to tell. [thinking about the story above…I’m thinking that something bad could come out of this, and something should be done…but I don’t know I might just be over exaggerating…like usual]
If one of my friends told me that they were going to sneak out or something then I would try to talk them out of it, or tell an adult. If I were to tell someone a secret about something that was going to hurt me, then I’m sure I’d be mad at first. But down the road I’m sure I’d be very glad that I told that person and that they cared enough to tell someone.

Blog #9 : My Springbreak

On Thursday after school, Rudy, Ashley, Delaney, and I planned on going to see a movie. Then Rudy bailed on us, and we went to Delaney’s. We stayed the night at Delaney’s and watched Sydney White and Nancy Drew.
On Friday, I went shopping with my mom in Bloomington. We went to the new Hollister but I didn’t get anything. Friday night I went out to dinner with my mom and dad and brother, and my cousins and some friends from Canada. We went back to my aunts house and the kids got in the hot tub and we watched some basketball.
On Saturday, I slept in and went to my grandmas for Easter with my dad’s family. Jake and Jami came home and Mindy and Jarred and my aunt and uncle and grandma and grandpa went to Jarred’s house to see with they had fixed up.
On Sunday, I went to church, and then to grandma Lois’s house to hang out with Jake and Jami before they left of Ohio. I realized that lunch at grandmas was better than the lunch we were having at granda Linda’s. I was mad for the rest of the day. I didn’t feel good and fell asleep, and they woke me up to hunt Easter eggs. Grandma always hides a million eggs in the yard and we went outside to find them. My cousin, Noah, and I were together and we went over to edge of the yard and got some eggs. Little did we know that the eggs were the neighbors and they had candy.
Monday, I got ditched, and I had to find a date. I ended up getting two dates. :] I had people come over, and we watched movies and talked. Then Brittany stayed the night, and due to certain events, we were on the phone all night with Joey and Rian.
On Tuesday, I talked to Noah about some stuff and took Brittany home, then stayed home the rest of the night. Wednesday, I went to the sale barn and bought three cows and took them home in the van. :] After that, we went to Pekin, and then home to get ready and make pizza for that night. Bryan, Jess, Zach, Rian, and Laura came over before youth and then Noah met us at youth. We played games and ate snacks. Then we went back to my house and watched No Country For Old Men.
On Thursday, I babysat all day. 7:30-7:00. Then went home and finished watching One Tree Hill. [$95]
On Friday, I babysat and then went to Mannie and Ryan’s and ate pizza with them and grandpa and Gretchen, and then we went to see Drillbit Taylor. It wasn’t that great. I thought it was gonna be really funny, but it wasn’t.
On Saturday, I finally got to sleep in and then we went shopping all day. After that, my mom came and got me and we picked up Liz and went to Noah’s. We watched Short Circuit, and Full Medal Jacket.
On Sunday, I went to Church and then to Olive Garden with the girls. After that we went to see 27 dresses and then Coldstone. Then I worked on my project, watched One Tree Hill and went to sleep.

Overall I enjoyed break, minus all the drama and crap. :] I wish break was longer though. I cant wait for next year! :]